The stage shook as Robocop plugged in his axe. The stadium was packed to the rafters and going berserk. It was time for Robocop’s band to raise the roof.

“Are you ready to rock?!” Robocop yelled in to the mic. The audience answered affirmatively. “Are you ready to roooooooll?! Rock! And! Roll!”

The stadium thundered along in unison.

ROCK! AND! ROLL!

Robocop’s first licks of the guitar sent the audience into a frenzy. The monstrous riff bellowed from the 90 foot high wall of speakers. Eardrums began to bleed.

“I would like to thank everyone for coming out to see us tonight in support of our new album.” Robocop’s address was swallowed by the roar of the crowd that only grew once the drummer began to keep tempo with a massive bass kick. The pace increased and the volume crescendo’ed until a thousand incandescent bulbs exploded at once behind the band.

“I am Robocop and this is Farthammer!!!!!!!!”

Pandemonium ensued.

Well you can taste it.
Totally fart hammer yeah!
Well you can take it.
Totally fart hammer yeah!

So you can taste it.
Totally fart hammer yeah!
So fucking taste it!
Totally fart hammer yeah!

Cause I’m a real fart hammer tonight!

Robocop’s piercing guitar solo cut thru the din of the heaving stadium. The first fifteen rows of spectators were literally blown away. It was later reported that the police were called on a noise complaint in he next state over.

Cause I’m a real fart hammer TONIGHT!

“Thank you! And make sure you pick it up our latest and greatest debut CD, Farthammer, by us, Farthammer! From the entire band, thank you again for coming out. I am Robocop, but my friends call me Murphy!”

Robocop left the stage having not felt more like a man than since the day he was reconstructed and became a cyborg. Backstage, however, the groupies reminded him that he would forever remain a dickless cyborg.

Robocop killed the rest of his band and never again played another song, tho for just that one night, he truly was… a totally fart hammer yeah!